Child-Care Options: Pros and Cons
1 Comment Published February 21st, 2009 in Family, Parenting, Tips.The vast majority of parents utilize a variety of informal means to care for their children. Here are some of them:
GRANDPARENTS: Some believe that as care givers, grandparents are second only to the natural parents. Grandparents may quickly tire of the added responsibility as baby becomes a toddler. And differences in child-rearing standards (‘Grandmother knows best!’) often ignite disputes. In her book The Child Care Crisis, Fredelle Maynard says: “Precisely because [grandmother] is family, she doesn’t take orders and may need kid-glove treatment. If a hired caretaker hits your child or feeds him marshmallow fluff instead of cottage cheese, you can protest and if necessary end the arrangement. If grandmother violates your values and standards, that’s trouble.”
Frank communication between parents and grandparents, however, can often prevent needless friction. A grandmother may cherish a child, but she must also recognize that God assigns the responsibility of child rearing to the child’s parents. Parents and grandparents must thus establish agreed-upon rules and standards if such an arrangement is to work satisfactorily.
TEENAGE SIBLINGS: When they are reasonably mature and responsible, this too can work out fine. Often, youths bitterly resent being told, ‘Look after your baby sister.’ And an apathetic childminder is likely to be unreliable, careless, and neglectful. You should then have specific instructions on feeding, care, and handling emergencies and that he or she is willing to give your child needed attention.
WORKING DIFFERENT SHIFTS: A large number of couples are attempting to handle child care themselves by working different shifts. Explains one father: “I go to work in mid- or late afternoon when my wife gets home. Thus our children are ‘covered’ by one or the other parent. . . . We feel that this arrangement has enabled both of us to know our children very well and to be the primary influences upon their lives.”
There are clouds within this silver lining, however. Couples can become ‘ships passing in the night,’ with little time for each other. And a parent who has just come in from a night of work is not always the most alert of caretakers; nor is he likely to get much rest during the day. Some couples feel that being able to care for their children personally is worth the sacrifice.
HIRED SITTERS: A qualified, caring baby-sitter or full-time nanny can often be an exceptional care giver. However, nannies are expensive. Some families leap the financial hurdle by getting together with one or two other families and jointly hiring someone to care for their children. The problem is finding the right someone. This means carefully screening anyone you would entrust your child to. What do you really know about the prospective sitter? Does she have any previous experience or training in child care? How does she relate to your child and vice versa? Does she have undesirable habits—like excessive TV watching, tobacco smoking, or drug abuse? Is she willing to abide by your principles and house rules?
When a family finally does locate a responsible, caring individual, they often find to their dismay that sitters are notoriously transient. For a child, this can mean periodically suffering heartbreak as sitters come—and go.
I’m a NYC based parent, and I’ve tried almost every option there is as a solution to my daycare dilemma (I and my spouse are full time working professionals). Nannies were useless, every one I had was eventually caught talking for extended periods on the cellphone or shopping (!), when my son was supposed to be outside PLAYING ( not locked up in his stroller). Home daycare was, no matter what promises are made by the provider- hours in a small living room while she watched daytime tv, and very little interaction with my son or the other kids. I tried Preschool of America, a large ‘professional’ daycare center local to me- outrageously high priced with inexperienced, uncaring, low paid staff who were constantly turning over, so there was never a familiar face- or any mental stimulation, or caring treatment- for lots of tuition money. I finally tried a group family day care home I found in the neighborhood called Building Blocks Playgroup (www.buildingblocksplaygroup.com).
It’s run, and staffed by, experienced and certified preschool teachers and experienced assistants. The difference was amazing. He finally got the early reading and math, the cooking and arts and crafts, and the great field trips. There is one teacher for every 4 students, and only 12 students in each location, the staff are all long term. I wish that this business model would be copied elsewhere in case I have to move out of the area, I’ll never find this type of care again I’m afraid. It is really tough to find quality care that will give your kid a head start for grammar school later on.