Momma Stuff

I’ve been tagged by Kelly and here’s my take on this very controversial issue. There is no denying the fact that deciding how to discipline is one of parenthood’s most difficult decisions. Some claim spanking teaches bad lessons-that the stronger can rule by force and that angry violence is a suitable conduct.

I believe that discipline is an expression of love and a way to teach right from wrong. And sometimes, situations warrant imposing harder discipline such as spanking. But it should never be given because of outburst of fury. That could result to child abuse rather than loving discipline.

A wise parent recognizes that there are various ways to correct or punish a child. Sometimes just a firm word will do. In other cases a disobedient child may be briefly isolated. When a child spills or breaks something through childish carelessness or irresponsibility, often it is most effective to make the child clean it up or work to replace it, if feasible. Of course, flexibility is important, adapting the discipline to the situation and the child; what works with one may not work with another.

Yet, even as the Bible shows, spanking does have value as an occasional form of discipline, especially for young children. As they go along, most children will, time and again, challenge their parents’ authority, testing to see if they “really mean business” and deserve respect. Even nice children may say, “You shut up!” or “No, I won’t do it!” One doctor explained that it is as if the child knows where ‘a line has been drawn on the ground’ and yet crosses it to see what the parent will do. Can the child get away with it? Who is in control?

Particularly with very young children, such a challenge is not necessarily a time for an abundance of words. A spanking may be in order. No, not beating a child into submission, but a firm spanking sufficient to underscore who has authority.

As any tears subside, the parent can lovingly take the child into his or her arms. With quiet words, or just a warm embrace, the parent can say: “I love you too much for you to grow up without recognizing authority and the need for respect.” These are also choice moments to offer guidance that will touch the heart.

So you might ask if I’ve spanked my 23 month old child? I did but these were the rare times when he truly misbehaved and enough warnings hadn’t been heeded. I took him aside and used my hand to whack his hands. I didn’t feel guilty because I know his actions warranted such disciplinary action and it was given on the right degree. Besides, I don’t resort to spanking right away. Usually, a firm word such as “usap tayo” and tell him to stop does the trick.

My hubby and I are very proud whenever we hear comments from others that our son is very well disciplined and behaved. It is just the right assurance to have that we’re applying the right discipline on him.